As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
