I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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