Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize