Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
