areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
