spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
