they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
