In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize