In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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