I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
