I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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