***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
