Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize