can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
