Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
