great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
