sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
