is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I see more hoeing in ur future
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