My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize