Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
