I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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