i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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