I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
