So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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