yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
