oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize