Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
