do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize