margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
