He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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