I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
