At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
be right there i have to get my cape
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
