I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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