His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
