Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
