I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
