Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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