I just made out with a guy for $7.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
