Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
