Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
