Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
