guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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