guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
