found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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