Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
