Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
