My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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