if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The Olympian is in my bed
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize