thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
