People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
