I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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