I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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