Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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