I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
