My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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