Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
