Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
