Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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