onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there is glitter all over my balls
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
